idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
