he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
