I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
