Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize