why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
