Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
