the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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