I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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