apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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