I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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