im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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