i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
