Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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