He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I understand Curling. That high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
