i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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