Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
