the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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