Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
