Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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