i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
