I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
