It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize