I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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