he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
