I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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