Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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