soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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