I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
