I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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