My liver just broke up with me...
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
