I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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