He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize