Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
