4 words: hood of his car
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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