wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
