ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
