i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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