I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
