he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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