I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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