At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
