omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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