Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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