is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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