So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
