THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
