if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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