girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
