Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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