why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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