hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
