I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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