Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
