I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
