you guys were way drunker than both of me
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
