Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
