You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
He passed out mid-signature
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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