Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
