Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
