So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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