You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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