You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize