I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
