I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
